My life feels kind of like a Rubik's cube

Greetings friends!

It’s been some time, hasn’t it? Well, I hope you’ll read on and give me your thoughts at the end of this blog. God has really been bringing some things to my mind recently and writing it out just seems to help make more sense of it. What are the things I’m being made aware of, you ask? Well, you asked for it! Here is the revelation:

I can’t fix myself. Shocking, huh? But believe it or not, I can’t fix my personality flaws, my problems, my issues – good, bad, big, small, I just can’t do it.

Now, to some of you out there this is basic knowledge and if you know tons and tons about this you can skip on to SCL right about now. I won’t be offended! Really! But for those of you who struggle with this like I do, read on.

Here’s the deal – as much as I’d like to think I have some basic Christian thoughts and doctrines down (you know – grace, love, the basics!) I just don’t! This is puzzling since I have been going to church all my life and tend to error on the “I know it, I learned it when I was 5” side. Hmm… sounds like a certain religious sect…. Anyways, God is awesome and is changing me – thank Him! But since I “know” so much about good, biblical behavior, you would think I would be able to fix myself and get things under control, right? Wrong. When I try, it looks something like this:

Problem: Eating too much
Inner Monologue: “Use self control, Jessica – don’t eat too much!”
Result: I saw cookies. Enough said.

Or….

Problem: Gossip
Inner Monologue: “Don’t text, hang up the phone Jessica!”
Result: Well, at least I have unlimited text…


And the list could go on and on… So do I ever really solve my issues? No. No, here’s what I’ve found fixing myself to be like: a Rubik’s cube. Do you remember those? Little plastic cube with different colored squares on all sides – craze of the 80’s? (Side note – I once had a Rubik’s cube pen, coolest pen ever! That pen got me through Algebra 1. Both times.) Ok, so here’s the deal – there are 6 colors on the cube, and your goal is to try to get every side of the cube to have only one color. I can remember playing with the toy at my Grandpa’s house. It was fun (well, it was the only toy AT my Grandpa’s house) and I could get almost ALL of one side white!! Right then I would move to conquer the color Yellow on this thing, and before I know it – I check to see my progress expecting to see 2 sides of SOLID color, and what do I see? The white side is all messed up again!

Well folks, THAT is what it’s like when I try to fix myself. Right when I think I have it together, I realize I don’t. Thank God that He is so merciful and kind. His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful to keep us and help us. We don't have to do this on our own. We can try to fix the cube, but nothing is going to really happen. But God? If we let Him take over, well He can do more in 30 seconds than we can do in a lifetime. God is THAT big and THAT powerful, and He cares THAT much.

Just a thought for today….