It is so easy to live life in isolation. Sure – you have people around you, but how many people are you in real relationship with? Intimate relationship? And not intimacy in the way of sexual intimacy – intimacy as defined by closeness, or someone you can truly be yourself with. It’s more important that I thought.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about mentorship, leadership, and some other issues and I have come to a conclusion:
Everyone should have someone who is pouring into their lives, and everyone should be pouring into someone else’s life. Call it mentorship, call it whatever you want – but everyone should have it.
Let me explain.
First of all, you don’t know everything there is to know.
And second of all, you don’t know everything there is to know.
Since you don’t know everything, doesn’t it make sense to talk to other people on a routine basis and give them permission to speak into your life? Here are a couple of tips that I think will help this process:
1. Find a mentor. Mentorship is not a “club” thing. It happens one on one, it happens within the same sex, and you usually only need one mentor. Two? Maybe. But usually one will suffice.
2. Seek God on who this person is in your life. This person you allow to speak into your life has to be a Godly person you’d want speaking into your life. You’re not cutting all others out. You’re just letting someone else more “in” than you normally do. This person should be older, and often significantly older than you. One year, two months and three days? Not what I'm really meaning. But whatever- ask God. Also, this person is not your mom, not usually your family, and not your best friend. This is someone on the outside with a different perspective – and part of what makes this so beneficial. Ask God to reveal who this is – and if it’s Him, He’ll open the doors to forming this relationship.
3. Be a friend. “Mentor” is not a synonym for “counselor” or “therapist”. This person is a friend who will tell you like it is, and tell you things other friends won’t. So love this person. Care about this person. They’re taking time out of their lives to share their care, concerns, prayer, and wisdom with you. This relationship is not a one-way street – so share the road and be a blessing to this person blessing your life.
4. Know that God is in control, and you don’t have to “make” anything happen. So you don’t see anyone around you of “mentor” quality right now? Don’t freak out – just pray. God will send the right person at the right time. Your current mentor is moving away, or things just seem flat - like they've emotionally moved away? Ok- people are in our lives for a season, maybe their season is up. It's ok. Or maybe you really want to be a mentor to someone younger than you – someone laid on your heart? Pray about it. Just because you’re ready to mentor, may not mean they are ready to be mentored - so remember that. I’m starting to learn that prayer can do so much more than we realize. So take it to God. See what doors he opens. And if nothing else – if there is no platform opened into this person’s life for you to speak, don’t give up on the prayers! They do so much more than you can imagine.
Well these are just a few thoughts. I may write some more on this subject – it has really been on my heart lately.
J
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